Diary of a Broken Vessel

There are many times when I approach Scripture with an incorrect spirit. Approaching it with the attitude that anything it will have to say will depend on how I feel and what I already think is right. Then I open the Word to only those things that I feel comfortable with, or that excite me. I will read what the Christian life looks like and consider the various moral improvements I need to apply to my life. Finally, I thank God for His advice, ask for the forgiveness of my sins, and go and sin no some lots more.

At some point God in His unfathomable love for this wretched, foolish, self-centered, sin-riddened, blind, deaf, dumb, lame, prone to wander, leper, chastises this lost lamb and tosses me into the fire for refinement. It is not out of cruelty, spite, or to punish this fool, but to correct, refine, break, and ultimately bring this wayward back into His arms; back into a reliance on Him.

I forget, as I think many of us forget, that the Word of God is not a hostage negotiation where I may lay out my demands and my conditions to be met before even consider letting go of stubbornly held presuppositions and personal interpretations. Lord, I only want to see the things that support what I feel is right and just, and nothing else. In return I’ll give you two chapters read, one verse partially memorized out of context, an empty promise to change some moral aspect in my life, and if I’m feeling particularly generous, I’ll throw in a “thank you” as a closing prayer.

I can forget that the Word of God is in fact God’s Word, and in forgetting I fail time and again to give Scripture its proper place in my life; the standard by which all and everything -including especially myself- is measured against. It is the very God-breathed Word delivered once and for all to which I am subject. To be read, obeyed, declared, and never adjusted to fit my small world view.

“For the word of God is living, active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:12-13).