I am not a Dr. in Divinity or Theology. I have no formal training in Christian Theology. I fall terribly short in comparison to the many great Christian thinkers of today and yesterday. I have been instilled with all manner of broken doctrine from the beginning, and perhaps I am the last person who should ever open his mouth regarding the teachings of Scripture.
I am a fool among fools. Broken and given to all manner of imperfect thinking. I bear scars that could trace a path from here to self-destruction. I wasn’t brought up to lead, but to submit and to wait for outside approval, and I am certain that I have been far from approved by those who -as I was taught- matter.
I have a past filled with great guilt and fault. I have opened my foolish mouth and spoken harshly and cruelly about those whom I hated in action. Daily I fail to die to myself. Daily I allow my sin to lead me to the destruction of my witness and testimony. I allow myself to be lead by my foolish passions instead of submitting myself to Christ.
I am a broken vessel. Chipped, cracked, marred, and often quite brittle. The things I desire to do, those things I do not do. The things I desire not to do, those things I do. I war openly with my flesh in the power of my flesh; and in doing so I fail miserably at all I put my hand to, for it is not by power nor by might, but by God’s Spirit.
And all this is to say that I don’t understand mainstream Christianity. And by mainstream I mean the version of Christianity that gets the most media attention, has the largest media outlets available to them, that fill the vast majority of every Christian bookstore that I’ve ever walked into. The Christianity that presents itself as falsely innocent and family friendly. That Christianity which places itself in a bubble, presents the perception that the answer to sin at large is social reform and who/what we vote for, that Jesus gave us America because we were so good and so awesome that we might as well be the new Israel. That version of Christianity where the Joel Olsteens, T.D. Jakes, Pat Roberts, Benny Hinns, and the Rick Warrens of the world are sufficient teachers of sound doctrine.
I don’t understand how mainstream Christianity can produce so much anti-scriptural, let’s feel good together, I’m okay/you’re okay, fluffy, distracting, dishonest crap and call it Christian. Just spend some time on His Holy Space.com or God Tube.com to get a taste of what I mean. Spend some time looking over the archives of Christianity Today, or spend some time carefully considering what is at the top of Christian music charts, reading lists, etc.
(Anyone, if they take a little time can think of specific examples to what I’ve touched on. It goes without the need for me to specifically point out any one thing.)
I don’t understand this Churchianity that we’ve substituted for Christianity. I don’t understand how we are squabbling over stupid matters such as who to/not to vote for, what bill does or does not get passed, what political party you affiliate with (btw- Republican is not the same as Christian so stop blindly following one group because of their affiliation and condemning the other because of their affiliation). It is as this Christianity is trying to put on a safe, we’ve got it all together, and we have all the answers, superficial face while underneath it is festering with all manner of maggots and parasites.
WHAT ABOUT THE CROSS!? What about Jesus? What about sin? What about God’s answer to sin? What about the brokenness, the struggle, the difficulties, the Truth that it all boils down to God and His Word? What about repentence and submission to God? What about the SALVATION that is found in CHRIST ALONE?
I desire to proclaim Christ and Him crucified. I desire to show the Light that God has given me in this darkness. But I am foolish. Even of those things I have named, I am darker and even more foolish and corrupt than they. I am without their approval. A voice that speaks -in a sense- out of turn. But God help me.
My heart aches at what I’ve seen passed around as acceptable in the mainstream Christian world. The admittedly shallow, but still good clean fun that has been accepted as sufficient. God’s Word given in a cool and socially acceptable sort of way. At these things I cringe, and feel a desire to tell those who are being deceived to look to God’s Word and not to man’s easy way out.
I am imperfect, broken, foolish, scarred, but I can’t help this pulling upon my heart to proclaim Christ and Him crucified. I can’t help this demanding of my conscience to take the gifts that God has given me to teach those around me of Christ.
The Lord has put a call in my heart that I can’t walk away from. Daily the most unlikely want to discuss God, the Bible, the Christian Faith, and I cannot understand why they come to me of all people, other than God places them on my path for His purposes.
With great difficulty, and with great fear, I desire only to submit to Christ and what He has placed before me, whatever that may be. I’m not privileged as some, I’m not wise as some, I’m not as learned as many, I wasn’t handed my lot on a silver platter, but whatever road the Lord lays before me, no matter how intimidating, there I will walk in Him.
