Diary of a Broken Vessel

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you…”
~Luke 6:27-28

When it comes to my middle brother I am generally without compassion. His lifestyle utterly repulses me at every level. He is given to idolatry, wrath, violence, malice, slander, hates God, insolent, haughty, boastful, foolish, faithless, heartless, and ruthless. The fruits of his hands clearly and quickly reveal him to be at enmity with God. And this overflows naturally into all areas of his life, including in his dealings with my youngest brother and myself.

Often in my dealing with him, I forget God, I forget myself, I throw humility to the wind, and I treat him and speak in regards to him as Jonah with the people of Ninevah. I consider smugly the wrath which he is storing up for himself, and desire for little more than his fall.

But who am I -O wretched man- to look upon him without compassion, without mercy, without forgiveness, without urgency? How was I any different? How am I any different? I live in a world of sin, populated by a race of sinners, and I am a sinner. God’s grace has forgiven me much, how much more should I not forgive?

The things in him I judge, I rightly judge. Sin is sin and is to be called out, but who am I to bring about or call for judgment?

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
~1 Corinthians 5:9-13

What do I have to do with judging outsiders? My brother is a sinner, but so am I. The only thing that sets us apart is the grace of God in the Blood of Christ. That is it. And if I have been shown such grace, should I not be praying for him that Christ might likewise break his hard heart? Should I not have compassion upon him?

“…bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you…” If he does not repent, then the judgment of God will fall upon him. There are things that are for more important than my pride, than my feelings, than my comfort; things like…I don’t know…obeying God perhaps?

Conversation is out, and I have rightly put him out from me, but my attitude towards him without excuse. I need to repent, and pray for his salvation. To show and seek compassion. To -at every given opportunity- share with him, and show to him, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

“There, for the Grace of God, [go I].”
~John Bradford