Diary of a Broken Vessel has been a writing project that, for years, has seen me through some of the best of times and some of the worst of times. From facing personal demons, staring down a brutal and broken past, finding God in the midst of sorrow and joy, breaking the CCH bondage, and embracing the Word of God apart from my traditional upbringing, this has been an amazing experience.
Though a broken vessel I am, and though in constant need of unending grace, this blog doesn’t speak to the place where I am now. Where I am is in a place of letting go and giving all back to God. A place of moving forward. A place -in short- where my earthly father and the church of my youth don’t have such a heavily defining role as they once did.
I’m far from where I’ve started this journey. I hit a pot hole and stared at it long enough. Now it is time to move forward keeping my eyes on Christ every step of the way.
I will be stepping away from blogging for a short time. Not long, a couple of weeks at worst. I have a lot on my plate that I need to address at the moment. I promise to return soon with great news.
To have the tolerance and freedom and understanding discussed here, the opportunity for tolerance and freedom must be available to all sides of the argument. There must be room for all sides to be offended because if we cannot allow ourselves to be offended (without reacting violently and inappropriately) then we cannot talk. And it is not I that is the barrier to the conversation, but you who would silence all things that offend you.
The issue of tolerance is must be a guarantee to all sides, and no promise should be made that no one would be offended. And let us be honest, you would rather that I would be converted to your beliefs, moral codes, religions (or lack thereof), and I would rather that you were converted to my beliefs, moral code, faith, etc.
So to even begin discussion, are you willing to be offended for the sake of understanding?
The law to be is garbage. It can and will destroy affected small American businesses. It is the large companies who exported production to China (you get what you pay for) who should be penalized severely and monetarily. For Congress to allow this to pass without modification to protect the small American businesses who haven’t hurt the consumer’s trust would be a testimony to their foolishness and unconcern for the common citizen.
It is 0637…for you non-military time tellers, that means 6:37 AM…and I have had only two hours-ish of sleep. I went to bed sometime around 0430 last night. I’m exhausted. It was a long duty day yesterday, but it is okay. I’m having an exciting morning.
You see, when we came into port I didn’t think I was going to be able to take leave. We had a whole bunch of new people in the office, I have just assumed the role of LPO (that’s lead petty officer), we lost some corporate knowledge, and it was going to be a painfully busy in port time period.
But try as I might, I found that I couldn’t wait until winter to take my leave. I’ve been a little grumpy, and I haven’t been able to spend real time with my family because I’m working six to seven days a week.
Well today right after duty turn over I am going to change into my civies and take off for five days of hard earned, long over due, well needed leave. I’ll relax, enjoy life, and I’ll be away from work.
I guess even the WORLD’S FINEST RELIGIOUS PROGRAMS SPECIALIST needs to take a break now and then.
It was at Calvary Chapel Poulsbo where I learned to why we gathered together as Believers in Christ. I learned what church was really about. My family and I were welcomed with open and loving arms. We were immediately welcomed and adopted.
Calvary Chapel Poulsbo stood out in its Biblical love for the saints and for one another. Barriers were shattered and cliques wiped out of existence as we gathered together to worship God, to learn from His Word, to fellowship, and to care for those in need.
There were many individuals who played unique roles in the life of my family and I, but Calvary Chapel Poulsbo as a whole left its mark on our hearts. It felt like home; for me it was the first place that felt like home. And CCP is the reason my wife and I hope to return to Washington someday; that we might rejoin our family.
I was welcomed and loved with my brokenness and all, and pointed to the Cross. I was taught how God works in us, how He works through us -no matter how broken we are, how He cares for us and loves us deeply and unconditionally, and how He is faithful to complete the work He began in our lives -though it may be a long and painful process.
The theology and teaching was rock solid, the church practiced what it preached, they loved Biblically, they avoided raking each others’ backs, and showed a vibrancy that I have not seen elsewhere. Their example, their love, their teachings, their words, and their deeds brought me back to the Father’s feet where I submitted my life -every part- to Him once again that He may do what He would with me.
Calvary Chapel Poulsbo, my friends, my family, my home. I hope to return one day soon!
I read through Chuck Smith’s “Calvary Chapel Distinctives: The Foundational Principles of the Calvary Chapel Movement” for a second time. This time I made sure to prayerfully consider what I was reading, and to keep an open mind. Originally I had planned to walk through each chapter on this blog discussing the positive and negative aspects I came across, but as I re-read the book I came to realize that I had many very strong concerns over what I was reading.
There are some great things in this book for every church to consider, the greatest I think was balance -balanced attitudes, balanced hearts, balanced worship, balanced teachings, etc., etc. as long as that balance is balanced to the Word of God. Nevertheless the good things that I did read do not negate the exceedingly dangerous things this book had to offer.
The positive thing to note is that Calvary Chapel describes itself as a movement and not a denomination. The reason that this is important to take notice of is that it identifies Calvary Chapel Churches as independent, self-governed, non-denominational churches. Each church is its own entity and does not necessarily agree with or subscribes to any or all Chuck Smith’s Distinctives. This book is not THE rule book for Calvary Chapel Churches to live and die by; it is merely what Chuck Smith (the movement’s founder) considers to be the distinct attributes that would describe/define his movement.
Here is what I am going to do now that I have re-read this book and find myself left with the disappointment and disbelief. I am going to take the next couple of weeks to look at the things I considered dangerous and toxic to the health of any church . I will discuss those issues here.
These posts are not intended to tear down Chuck Smith, Calvary Chapel Churches, or any particular Calvary Chapel pastor. These posts are being offered for discussion, review, observation, and consideration. As always comments, questions, other perspectives are always welcome, BUT I will not tolerate any berating or belittling of any person through this series. This is to simply look at the ideas and discuss their implications, what does/does not make them dangerous, how they could affect a church, believers, and our relationship with our Savior.
I think that this may be a difficult and uncomfortable series, but I really want to talk about what I read. There are some serious concerns that I need to talk out.
There are those that call me back to the things I no longer desire to return to. There is a demand to submit to men, but to submit is to lie before You. Father, these demand to be the idols of my heart; demanding worship, and demanding to take Your place.
God let me not succumb their sick Siren song. Let me not fall before the wicked and lay my testimony -as weak as it may be- asunder. I desire to honor You and only You in truth and love. Guide me my Master and Shepherd through the darkness. Let the Enemy have no victory here. Slay the demons within me that rage against their confines; lest they might break free and once again rule over me.
“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.”
-Romans 7:18-20
Father in Heaven fill me with Your Spirit. Hold me in Your hands. Grant me the words to speak when they are required, and silence when words become useless. Grant me the strength to persevere where I in my weakness would spill blood and run. Let my Flesh die, let my Self be torn away, let only You remain.
I cannot do what is required of me, and so I plead Your Grace.
She turns three tomorrow. She’s not just a baby or a toddler anymore. She’s a little kid. How did this little kid get in my house; in my life? Talking, playing, laughing, crying, yelling, learning, endless hours of imaginary play.
Watching her grow up is amazing. Tomorrow will be a fun -and sobering- day.
Today’s Positive Post Tuesday is a shout out to all of 
